


Tea and Toast

by Hasegawa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hasegawa/pseuds/Hasegawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A different take of Thomas Marvolo Riddle life if he didnt become a dark lord. </p>
<p>Pairing: eventual slash TMR/HP. Rating: soft T.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a song fic based on Lucy Spraggan's awesome Tea and Toast song.
> 
> Summary: a song fic based on Lucy Spraggan's Awesome Tea and Toast Song. A different take of Thomas Marvolo Riddle life if he didnt become a dark lord. Short fic, around three chapters at most.
> 
> Pairing: eventual slash TMR/HP
> 
> unbetaed.
> 
> Enjoy!

_"Tom was born in 1942_   
_With eyes of blue_   
_And the doctors said that his birth was far too fast_   
_His heart stopped twice_   
_But yet he survived_   
_As he took his first breathe_   
_His mother took her last"_

Thomas Junior Marvolo Riddle was born in 1942, in the middle of winter, exactly on 31st of December. His birth was a hard birth; it was already ten hours labor when finally his little head went out and saw the world for the first time. His birth was also too fast; he was born a month early with complications. His heart stopped twice, but by some kind of power out there, magical in nature-his birthing nurse had said, he came alive. And it was when his mother gave her last breath away.

The blue eyed baby didn't know about the sadness that was waiting for him, but his father did. Little Thomas' parents were not a really loving couple—she was an ugly mistake little Thomas' father made when he was just 18; and since Thomas Riddle senior was the sole in some sort of important land lord in that area, taking a girl's virginity and impregnating her was a cardinal sin and only punishable by marriage.

So they were married in the small chapel, she with her big eyes full of hope and adoration and love to him; while he was looking down on the peasant girl with ugly face and just barely there bosom. All he could think when they exchange vows was regret of being unable to curb his desire in that one drunken night on the pub.

Thomas Riddle senior learned that his wife's name was Merope after two weeks of their marriage; before he didn't even bother to learn her name; after all, he could always call her 'you' or 'hey you'. She was pregnant; but unfortunately (and fortunately for him) she lost the fetus when it was barely four months old. She was devastated, and Thomas Riddle senior's parents pushed her to her mental strain. Two years after that, she was pregnant again. And after then ten hours of labour Thomas Riddle senior was glad when he thought it was a still birth; but then the baby magically came back to life. The only consolation the man had was his ugly wife was dead. He was free to marry another.

Thus, Thomas Junior Marvolo Riddle was born into the world promising loneliness and loveless family life.

* * *

The little blue-eyed boy picked the stone with his little hands. He was only five, but he was more mature than most eight years old. He was also especially gifted. His personal maid always told him so. She said that he was brilliant for he already understood some of the poems and math and history while others with his age just barely learned about alphabets. She told Little Thomas how he was so handsome, with soft brown curls and aristocratic facial structure, just like his father when he was small. She told little Thomas that he would be as good as his father, who was one of the richest landlord in the land, from his massive agriculture lands and textile factory. But little Thomas knew it was all just lies. After all, why would his own father hated him if he was adorable and brilliant?

His father just married another lady a week ago, and they were off for honeymoon in some expensive areas in France. Little Thomas watched the ceremony and how his father smiled towards his new mother. The little boy wondered why he never had that lovely smiled directed to him. When he asked his maid, she said that the master was too busy with his job. Little Thomas forced his little heart to understand. It was true that the war has calmed down, and the winter was the worst in record. But yesterday was his birthday, and nobody but his maid and the chef wished him a happy birthday. It was just a small wish, but couldn't his father smile at him for once in his birthday?

To distract himself, Little Thomas threw the stone to the air and by the sheer of his will, the stone stopped on the air. It was a physically impossible feat, but nothing was impossible for the little Thomas. He could make the birds frozen by the tree's twigs and then called them to his hand. He made things fly and moved according to his wish. He could talk to snakes in the garden. He could make the flowers bloomed before the seasons and also wilt them within minutes.

He knew he was special. But what was special worth, when all he wanted was a smile from his father? What was his fault? He knew he was his mother's killer, but then again, he could see that his father was never put her in high regards anyway. So, shouldn't his father love him for killing his own mother?

He once asked his maid about it, and she smiled to him, singing the lullaby she usually sang to him before the child slept.

" _When the skies are looking bad my dear_  
And your heart has lost all it's hope  
After dawn there will be sunshine  
And all the dust will go  
Skies will clear my darling  
You'll wake up with the person you love the most  
And in the morning, I'll wake you up  
With some tea and toast"

"Why can't you be my mother?" he blurted when the lullaby finished, his little wish that he never had the courage to speak out. But that night was special. He wanted to open up. Little Thomas was ready to learn the truth behind the world. He knew he could take it now. And his maid could only smile sadly.

"Unfortunately, little master, as much as I wish it too, you are not my child and I am not your mother."

A week after, the maid stopped working in the Riddle Manor and went away, leaving her little master and the Riddle Manor. They said she was sent away because she was too close to little master; some other said she went away because she married a man from the textile factory and they were planning to life their new family life in London.

Either way, it felt like betrayal to little Tom, for she left because she was too close and she didn't include him inside her little family.

It was then Thomas decided that the world was never fair.

* * *

Thomas—or Tom, now—was special. He was way ahead of his peers in the school, and it was a source of admiration as well as jealousy for his school mates. Tom preferred to be alone anyway, and he often worked in favour of teachers in exchange of new knowledge. But even though with all the achievement the boy has done, his father just looked at him with one eye, looking down at his only son, demanding more and more. Sometimes it depressed Tom, but most of the time he was too used to it to take notice.

It was even clearer how special Tom was when he finally got his Hogwarts letter, with an ancient looking Gandalf knocking on the Riddle Manor's door. The man explained that his name was Dumbledore and he was a professor in a school of Hogwarts, for the magical people. Tom was invited to such school, because Tom was magical. Magically gifted are for the special people.

It felt naturally true when Tom's father was outraged and called the man as a scammer, demanding the old man to leave his manor immediately. His father even cursed Merope, Tom's deceased mother, to bring such bad blood into Riddle family. But Tom knew better, he was of magic. Whatever he has been doing with her special power was called magic. So he stood against his father and determinedly said he was going to Hogwarts. It was the last strain; the final reason his father needed to disown him—especially Tom's stepmother was already huge with child on that particular month. The only reason Tom was still living inside the Riddle Manor was because his father's fear of lacking a living successor.

Tom was casted out; he was without money or family background. Yet he was still accepted in Hogwarts and the Gandalf—Professor Dumbledore—told Tom about Hogwarts' scholarship for orphaned kids. The irony was not lost in Tom as he followed the old man towards Leaky Cauldron for the first time.

The boy didn't spend his time to mourn over his new fate; he was too amazed by the magical world; from the shops to the foods to the books to the sports and to the garments. He spent days and days wondering around the Leaky Cauldron, and within the week, most of the shop owners knew him as the lost boy. He was very charming and smart, and the owners of Flourish and Botts hired him as the delivery errand boy for them. He did a very good job until he became some sort of errand boy for almost every shop in the Diagon Alley. He slept in the back room of Flourish and Botts, as the boy himself bargained most of his wage with a place to sleep, some books to freely read and returned to the shelves and some food.

He spent the next half a year until August in that manner, enjoying his errand works and the books. He read the books like he ate food, and in no time, Tom has finished the first year Hogwarts second hands books and continued to read the second one. He familiarized with magic, and secretly learned wandless magic to do some simple things like warming charm and levitating charm. He hasn't got his wand though, because when he knew that the scholarship came with some interest and he needed to repay it back, Tom decided that he should wait for his wages to collect itself and enough for a wand.

By the last week before the 1st of September, the owner of Flourish and Botts gave him his last wage, and Tom decided to purchase his wand. He walked into Ollivander's shop, and the old man smiled when he saw him.

"Finally ready to get your wand, eh, Little Tom?"

Tom smiled. "I am not little, Mr. Ollivander."

"Compare to me you are very little." Ollivander smiled as he took a box. "Try this," he said.

That day Ollivander has no other customer because it took him a day to find Tom the perfect wand. Tom was already worried that he had no wand by noon, and by afternoon he was questioning himself, whether he was really of magical, whether he was able to get into Hogwarts without a wand, and how would he support himself without the help of magical world. Maybe his father was right after all, Tom was a failure coming from a bad seed. Maybe his childhood maid was right after all, for she knew that Tom might be just a useless kid and should not be included in her family plan.

It was then he touched the wood: yam with phoenix feather in it. The connection was instantaneous, the whole room glowed in green and sparkled. Tom felt as if he had found the other side of him, as if he had found his own limb. And the wand shook warmly inside his palm.

The wand reminded him of the lost lullaby when he was small:

_"When the skies are looking bad my dear_   
_And your heart has lost all it's hope_   
_After dawn there will be sunshine_   
_And all the dust will go_   
_Skies will clear my darling_   
_Now it's time for you to let go_   
_And in the morning, I'll make you up_   
_With some tea and toast"_

And that was when Tom started to think, maybe he deserved his life, maybe… the world was fair after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Being sorted in Slytherin when you were a disowned muggleborn was not a walk in the park. Tom felt it firsthand how racist and cruel his housemates could be. Children are a cruel crowd, for they do not think about any consequences of their action, words or thoughts.

Tom became forlorn, surrounding himself with books and knowledge and elder students from other houses. He knew that he was too matured for most of younger students, yet because he was sorted into Slytherin, every move he made was scrutinized as having a double hidden meaning. Thus, as much as Tom would like socialized with those people, he found himself more and more exhausted by each try. In the end of the first week, he learned that it was better to play it by ear, and never to try to gain any friendship. By the end of the first year, Tom learned to be cold and stoic; expecting the worst of people and worked hard for his own sake.

The summer break came, and Tom was glad he went back to the Diagon Alley. He worked again in Flourish and Botts, spending his days amongst adults who could appreciate him for himself and his values. But as the holiday rolled on, the day of returning to Hogwarts came again, making Tom dreading the day he would start his second year in that magical school.

Second year came and go just like first year was. Tom was belittled by his own house's members, but he managed to gain the respect from most of his teachers. His perfect essays and vast knowledge were matched by his adept in practical and charming personality. People started to look upon him, and it divided Hogwarts into two categories; followers and haters.

Tom didn't pay much attention, of course. He managed everything alone and instead of paying attention to such trivial matters like friendship or social standing, he opted to research about his own mother. He just learned that Parseltongue—his ability to speak the language of snake—was a hereditary ability from the most special of wizarding lineage. In the spirit of trying to prove how wrong his ex-father was, Tom spent his time trying to find where Merope's family line had come from.

It bought him to truth that he was the direct and last Heir of Slytherin.

Tom wanted to laugh so loud when he found about his own heritage—so him being in Slytherin wasn't a mistake after all. He wondered why a muggleborn like him was sorted into Slytherin, but the fact that he was the direct and last heir of such noble wizard made him filled with confidence and irony. It forced him to realize that the world was fair after all. He wasn't a mistake. Tom was there because of reasons. So if he ever thought the world was ever unfair, Tom would convince himself that there would be a reason behind everything that happened to him.

Third year came and go—nothing was memorable, maybe except for the birth of the most annoying self-proclaimed prankster group of firsties. They called themselves as marauders and did childish pranks to most of the students and the teachers. The teachers found their pranks as cute and let them be, which in Tom's opinion made the little brats' head even bigger. They thought that they were unstoppable and nobody knew it was them. It irritated Tom, but for all it's worth, Tom didn't want to spend any energy on useless matter like being angry at snotty firsties. So he easily dodged any pranks that was directed to him, personally or non-personally, pranks that came because Tom was in vicinity, or the pranks directly aimed at him. he didn't even give a reaction, and shrugged his shoulders when his school mates all asked him how did he maintained to be the only one un-pranked by the 'Marauders' so far.

Little did he know, Tom became the main target for the firsties brats because of his nonchalant. They tried to prank him everytime, realizing that Tom was the only lower years students that could dodge their hexes and jinxes and plots without even thinking twice. It was as if Tom was untouchable, and it made the Marauders' spirit boiled in awe and curiosity. Even the teachers got pranked by the Marauders. And thus, Tom unofficially received the respect and also grudges from the group of firsties pranksters.

* * *

Harry Potter despised himself.

He was a Potter by birth; yet he wasn't as strong or lively as his father or older brother, James. His father, Charlus Potter was one of the most respected Winzengamot members, having 10 chairs all for his name and worked as the Head of Financing. His big brother, James was a very bright boy. James was the epitome of devilish angel—devilishly handsome, attractive, charming and although lazy, still managed to get the highest mark in his year. His friendship with Sirius Black—the famous White sheep of the Black family—was helping their fame as well, and both kid made a group with another Remus Lupin and a Peter Pettrigrew as the famous prankster Marauders.

Harry was a normal student; his intelligence was above average but way lower than his brother's. His build was small and effeminate. When their mother was pregnant with Harry, she thought Harry would be born a girl. And when they got a little boy, quite fragile at that (Harry was born with wet lungs), the family became overprotective of the smallest member of the family, treating him like they would treat a sleeping beauty.

In the end, Harry was more used to silence and books and indoors activity instead of broomsticks and flying and pranks and active outings as James was brought up with. Harry grew with bad cases of asthma and breathing problems; sometimes high fevers that worried the whole family for his life. His father was too afraid to get his smallest son outside the manor, so he excluded Harry from his trip with James, instead opted to bring Harry gifts when he came back. His mother sometimes even acted as if Harry was a Harriet, having tea party with her friends and dressed Harry up in ribbons and laces. James learned from his parents and out of his love for his only baby brother, he never pranked his brother like he would do to their parents and house elves, instead making Harry always the exception to every mischief he did.

So when Harry finally started his first year in Hogwarts, everybody looked at him and knew him by the name of James Potter's little brother, nor Harry Potter. Actually little brother was a good labelled, compared to the reaction of most people when they were first introduced to Harry, thinking that Harry was a nickname for Harriet.

His brother James kept Harry close and told Harry to wait in one of the empty compartments as James ran out to find Sirius Black and other Marauders. Harry nodded and sat, watching the interior of the compartment in awe. Well, effeminate or not, Harry was still magical and he loves magic too much to not be happy about Hogwarts.

It was then an older boy opened the door. Harry immediately turned to the stranger—and for three seconds they watched each other.

"I apologize." The older boy finally said. "I didn't know this compartment is filled. I will go and look for another one, sorry for disturbing your…"

"No, please!" Harry quickly shook his head. "Please come in."

The older boy looked contemplating and in the end stepped inside the compartment. The boy sat in front of Harry, and by the flick of his hand, the older boy closed the door by magic, locked it, and levitated his own old trunk onto the over head compartment. Harry watched in awe, wondering would he be able to do that when he was older, for Hogwarts much be teaching her students how to do wandless magic. If the older boy could do it, everybody must be able to do it when they were older.

The older boy smiled. Harry returned the smile. They kept their smiles for sometimes, none dared to stop their smiles. And after ten minutes of smiling, Harry gave up and buried his face on his hands. His cheeks were tired from smiling too much.

The older boy laughed.

"You are funny." He said. "I am sorry. You are too adorable. Are you a first year?"

"Yes." Harry nodded, "My name is Harry Potter."

"Potter? Are you related to James Potter?"

Harry nodded, knowing that it would be the norm from then on that Harry would be associated with James whenever he was introduced for the first time. "Yes."

"And… Harry? For Harriet?" the boy smiled.

Harry scowled. "No, I am a boy!"

The boy laughed again, this time even more carefree. "I know. I am sorry. Ah, that was fun. I am sorry for teasing you."

"I am a boy." Harry spoke again, in a stronger tone, trying to make himself look more like a man. He didn't know how that act made him looked more adorable.

"I know." The older boy smiled. "Hi. I am Tom. Tom Riddle. Call me Tom."

"Tom." Harry smiled again.

It was the start of wonderful friendship, but their time together was cut short when the compartment's door suddenly exploded and Harry turned to see his older brother aiming his wands onto the compartment.

"Harry! You alright?" his brother asked. Harry nodded.

"I am fine, James. What happened?"

"I couldn't open the door, and I am worried about you… oh, you. Tom Riddle."

Harry turned to see the half hostile, half respectful stare James was giving Tom. Tom nodded and Harry saw that the older boy's smile vanished immediately.

"Harry, lets go with me. Sirius and the others are waiting for us in another compartment."

"But I …" Harry wanted to stay, but Tom nodded his head before Harry could retort.

"Nice to meet you, Harry Potter, James Potter."

"Tom Riddle." James nodded, returning the cold greetings and grabbed his baby brother's hand as he dragged Harry out from the compartment.

* * *

" _When we met through a friend_  
Who introduced them  
The first thing Tom said was would you like to dance?  
They moved with each other and when the music got slower  
He said don't let go of my hand  
He said It's only polite if I ask you tonight  
Would it be alright, if I could walk you home?  
That night he told of of his birth  
And said when it hurt  
He thought about what his mother said about tea and toast"  


Tom knew that Harry Potter, the adorable first year puppy he met in his starting fourth year Hogwarts Express journey would soon be influenced by others' views of him. He listened as James Potter warned his little brother about how 'weird, dangerous and stoic' Tom Riddle was, and Tom was some kind of enigma that shouldn't be near to Harry. Especially since Tom was a Slytherin (and both Potters were Gryffindors, no surprise here) he was bound to be dangerous.

But he was mistaken. Apparently Harry was a total reverse of his older brother. The small kid was more comfortable in silence and books, amongst other studious Ravenclaws instead of energetic Gryffindors students. Tom was surprised to find the boy sitting not far from Tom's usual place in the library, reading some books about charms and transfiguration.

Out of small curiosity, Tom came and sat beside the boy, asking what he was reading. Harry looked up and smiled at him, surprising Tom with the sincerity of the smile. The smile hasn't changed since the first time they met. Tom was fairly sure Harry would be guarded around him after James' warning, but apparently Harry was really a cotton wool. Too white and pure to care about any dirt. It made Tom felt guilty for being the dirt near the wool.

Anyway, their conversation continued, and Tom caught the hidden envy Harry harboured towards his big brother. Tom understood that James was, although lazy and uncouth, was a smart and charming lively boy. Harry was bound to look up and compare himself to James. When the boy did that, of course Harry was a failure. It made Tom smiled sadly, realizing how the adorable puppy didn't know his own 'cotton wool-ish' charm.

"…Would you like me to teach you, then?" Tom smiled, offering a sincere offer.

Harry blinked and nodded. "Thank you so much, but why? You must be so busy, with OWL exam next year."

"I count this as a revision. And you are too pitiful to not be help." Tom smirked. Harry pouted, but when Tom ruffled his hair, Harry smiled back.

They continued in this fashion, meeting daily in the library, sitting together side by side, discussing their studies and other stuffs. They became quite famous for the library's loyal visitors as the couple of eye candy. Harry's beautiful face was matched by Tom's handsome appearance. Even though they were four years apart, it looked like they viewed each other as equals.

The library became one of the most popular places for students to enjoy their afternoon, with the two eye candies smiling to each other. Some braver students came to study with them, and while not always responded by Tom, Harry always welcomed them to sit and discuss their studies. Tom let the other students to come and sat; but once the students asked about other matters outside studies, he refused to speak to the other students. The crowd finally learned and only the one with sincere motive to study dared to sit around them. Weeks passed through, and James noticed his baby brother's closeness with the only person the Marauders haven't got the chance to prank as yet.

He voiced out his concern to his friends, and Sirius warned him against cunning Slytherin whereas Remus asked James to leave them alone, Peter followed Sirius' stand and in the end James decided to protect his brother again by keeping the first year boy inside the Gryffindor common room instead of library.

Harry didn't realize about his brother's real motive when James suddenly paid more attention to him and asked Harry to stay in the Gryffindor common room at all times. When he tried to explain his plan with Tom in the library, James pointed out that Harry would be better learning from his fellow Gryffindors (such as Sirius, Remus and James himself) instead of cunning Slytherin. Harry was angry and upset when he heard that, accusing his older brother of narrow minded bigots and house racist.

The accusation and verbal retaliation surprised James to his bone. His baby brother was a peace monger, James knew. Harry would never defy his advice. Never. And it angered the second year Gryffindor, for the Slytherin has badly influenced his little brother.

It was the first time James slapped his little brother's cheek.

Harry was shocked when he was slapped—never, he was never hit or slapped by his own family. Or anybody else, really. It was his first real physical blow and it hurt; it really hurt. The force made his cheek stung and hot.

His eyes started to water and with the look of the betrayed, Harry ran from James, ignoring his calls and went to the library to find Tom.

Tom was of course, surprised and enraged when he saw Harry's reddish cheek and the boy's watery face. Before he could ask what happened, Harry went into one of his more severe asthma fit. It induced panic in Tom, making him subconsciously pulled the little boy into princess hug and carried the little boy into the infirmary.

Madame Pomfrey managed to calm Harry down, and the little boy stayed unconscious for the night in the infirmary. However, the damage to Tom's mind has been done, and all he could think about was the possibility of Harry going away like his mother did. Or his nursemaid. Which made very scary prospect for the disowned Heir of Slytherin. He could never bear to lose another anymore.

When James entered the infirmary, ready to grovel in front of his baby brother, he saw Tom standing with ashen look on his face. James clenched his fist, ready to kick the Slytherin out of his brother's world, when the Slytherin himself turned to him and stared at James in sorrow.

"Please get him away from me." The boy pleaded, making the hair on James' back stood up by the intensity of the plea, "I cannot bear losing another anymore."

It stopped James from saying anything and Tom left the infirmary without saying more.

* * *

Harry wondered why suddenly Tom refused to be in library with him. Tom ignored him, and when Harry especially asked Tom why, Tom's classmates pushed Harry aside, telling him an idiot first year. Harry was not worthy of Tom's attention, they said, and Harry should not cultivate big head for Tom's past kindness. He was just a firstie, and he shouldn't take Tom for granted.

Harry realized that maybe his asthma attack disgusted Tom. Harry honestly felt bad, thinking how much of a failure he was. Harry was angry at himself too, for being so weak and having asthma attack. And he couldn't bear the mocking and degrading comments from Tom's Slytherin followers.

So when James approached his depressed little brother, Harry turned to his brother in tears. James silently comfort Harry in his arms, feeling hurt himself as the small body inside his embrace shook with so much pain. Harry was raised by silk gloves, unaware and innocent to such hardness in social life. In a sense, it was one of Harry's charm as the boy always thought the best for everything, but it was always his biggest weakness too. James let his brother cried, for he didn't know how to shield his baby brother from the harm of the world.

It took quite a long time for Harry to get over the incident, and by then Christmas holiday came. James adamantly took Harry back to the Potter Manor and told his parents what happened. Their parents took it too close to their heart and they spoiled the boy even worse that holiday. Alas, Harry realized what happened and he silently wished he never had the super-protected upbringing he had until then.

And Harry decided that he needed to grow up.

* * *

Tom, on the other hand, tried his best to cover his fear and shaken mind. He closed off everything around him, passing the days like he did when he was just in first year. When he saw Harry and James boarded the Hogwarts Express for the Christmas holiday, he secretly waved Harry goodbye.

The slow lullaby rewind in his mind, again and again.

" _When the skies are looking bad my dear_  
And your heart has lost all it's hope  
After dawn there will be sunshine  
And all the dust will go  
Skies will clear my darling  
Now it's time for you to let go  
And in the morning, I'll make you up  
With some tea and toast"

It made Tom realized that maybe he could do something better instead of running away from Harry. It was then when he started to continue his research for Chamber of Secret. The Chamber of Secret was build by Slazar Slytherin himself, and since Slytherin was a very famous potion master, Tom was sure that if he found the Chamber, he could find the secret to Harry's health.

So he continued his research throughout the Christmas Holiday. And never once he stopped to think why Harry affected him so much.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The last chapter. Thank you for the kudos and comment! I feel happy when I read them!

Unbetaed. will be done in a few days. or if you want you can beta this chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

The research consumed so much of Tom's time that without realizing it, the Christmas holiday was long gone, and they were already in the middle of the second semester. Tom had yet to meet Harry since that day, each avoiding the other. Tom's research was getting along well, and it was the last week of the year that Tom finally found the library.

He took the tomes from the Chamber of Secret with him, careful to not wake the basilisk up. The older teenager spent his holiday working and researching, almost ignoring his own homework. When he finally get the gist of what Salazar was explaining in the old English tomes, Tom started to feel confident that maybe he could make somekind of potion for Harry's asthma problems.

It was then he realized that even if he could make the potion, it would be useless if he couldn't give it to Harry. And thus, he tried to find Harry in the midst of the sea of people in the Hogwarts express by the start of next Hogwarts semester. He managed to find Harry inside a compartment with the Marauders, but he was stopped by James and Sirius. When Tom tried to explain why he needed to talk to Harry, the boy perked and stood up.

"James, Siri, it's alright. I can handle this."

"But Harry…" James whined. "He was a royal asshole to you!"

Harry shook his head. James pouted, but he let his little brother followed Tom to the outside of the compartment. Tom was glad that he could speak to Harry now, yet when he realized how unprepared he had been. He had not yet thought what to say, or how to carefully mend back the torn relationship between the two of them.

"What do you want, Riddle?" Harry asked coldly.

The cold tone shocked Tom. Tom watched the other boy. Harry has grown a bit, and although he was still rather girly, but he was not as effeminate as he used to as a first year. Harry seemed to notice Tom's way of thinking, as the boy stood even prouder.

"I trained myself in the holiday. I know I still look like a girl, but I am not weak. You can't use and dump me anymore, Riddle."

"…Call me Tom, please."

"Why should I? Wasn't you the one who think that we have no more friendship left between us?"

Tom apologized and groveled, using his charm to talk Harry out of his anger and betrayal. But Harry wasn't moved at all, and the smaller boy politely asked Tom to go away. Tom knew when he was dismissed, so he left, promising himself that he would make that right.

And making it right he did. For the whole year he tried to gain Harry's trust again and again. He started to follow the smaller boy and with his current standing as a prefect, he has a perfectly good reasoning to follow Harry without being branded as stalker. Especially Harry's health wasn't great at all, and many times Harry suddenly had asthma attacks and it was only because Tom's quick response Harry got the immediate appropriate treatment.

Slowly Harry melted, and he started to talk to Tom again. And it was then Tom honestly told Harry what happened back then, why he was so scared when he saw how Harry was lying on the bed, almost dying, leaving him just like his mother and his nursemaid. Harry didn't really accept the answer, but he forgave Tom. He also pointed out that Tom was a selfish bastard who thought for himself and himself only.

Harry pointed out to Tom how the older student was a cold hearted idol who used people and never actually think about others. Tom knew that Harry was right, although Harry didn't know the whole sides of the story. But Tom kept his side quiet, and promised Harry he would try to change.

The smaller boy felt like he had accomplished something when Tom changed into a more caring person. He became easier to reach and helpful, in not time becoming the true idol of Hogwarts. Whenever he went, people would flock, and then the girls started giggle around him, the boys started to became too friendly around him. Tom tried his best to help others that his time was severely limited and he was unable to carry on with his research. But Tom endured it, for Harry's sake. However his fatigue was noticed by most of his Slytherin classmates.

Harry was caught off guard when suddenly Tom's house mates came to him and ordered him to stop interfering with Tom Riddle. Tom was the mascot and pride of the Slytherin house, but ever since he started to follow Harry that year, Tom's marks slowly slipping down. Tom seemed to unable to concentrate to his study, and forcing himself to change from his old way.

The Slytherins then explained to Harry (Albeit not in very nice way) how different Slytherin was to the rest of the school. Tom becoming sensitive and caring was the worst thing that could happen, because it made him vulnerable to his rivals and backstabbers. And Tom actually hated attention, so being the centre of attention tortured Tom so much.

Harry was shaken after the encounter, and he didn't tell anyone about it. He in turn started to notice and paid more attention to Tom, and he saw how true it was—how the crowd were two edge swords to Tom—and how Tom himself was uncomfortable in the middle of the crowd attention. Tom was a natural charmer, and so attention would automatically follow him. And Tom being cold and stoic was some kind of effective mechanism to support his lonely presence. Now, when Tom trying to be charming and sincere at the same time; the older boy clearly struggled to manage everything, and in turn, ignored his own needs. If he continued, Tom would explode.

It embarrassed the boy. Harry just realized how he had hurt Tom by trying to change him. Tom was good in his own way, and Harry should have support Tom instead of trying to change him. Tom was kind in his own way, but while trying to be 'caring' and 'sensitive' just like Harry had advised him, the whole system changed and it tired Tom too much. Feeling even guiltier, Harry apologized to Tom in one of their study session together, asking Tom to return to just what he was.

Tom didn't realize he was very tired and pressured until Harry's words slowly sinking in. He was afraid that he would lose the boy's affection if he didn't follow Harry's advice, and he tried to change himself so much. He forgot why he became like that in the first place. The peer pressure and politics that he had managed to keep in control was crumbling while trying to change himself. So when Harry apologized, Tom lashed out, taking it out on Harry.

Harry, on his side, felt that he deserved such anger. So he waited and accepted all of Tom's anger, until the older boy finally calm enough to reason his words.

"I am so sorry, Tom."

"Me too, Harry. I am sorry. I am the older one, so I should have done better."

"This doesn't concern age." Harry shook his head. "This is life, and we grow with this. I need to thank you because you had shown me first that I was too naïve. And now you also shown me how conceited I am, thinking that everything that came out from my mind is the truth. No. opinion is not the truth. I was too fast making a conclusion before considering your feelings and situation too, Tom. I am sorry."

Tom laughed. "You are only a second year, yet you talk like an old man. Is that because of all the books you had been diligently reading?"

Harry blushed. "Shut up."

"I need to apologize and thank you too, Harry." Tom suddenly became serious. "It is my fault to vent my fear on you, and my cowardice hurt you so much. And it seemed I still have the stupid need to be accepted by people who matters to me—enough to change myself. It is stupid, really. I need to thank you too, for being my… friend." Tom blushed before continuing.

"I never really had friends before. I thought you would be just like another student in Hogwarts—liking my charm but would hate me when you know the rumors and gossips around me. So I was honestly surprised when you still treated me like you did in the train. And it soothed me, it really did."

Harry smiled. "Well, then, we are friend now?"

"Maybe… well, yes." Tom nodded, embarrassed and looking for a way out of the mortifying conversation. "Now, I have a lot of work to catch up on, and you have History of Magic to work on. No more talking, yeah?"

"Yeah." Harry smiled and unconsciously patted Tom's hand. Tom was surprised, but he said nothing. The touch felt good.

* * *

_Two quick years went by_  
They were side by side  
And without a plan, they conceived a little child  
He said women I love you and this you know  
But I only have enough for our food and clothes  
But I love you and this baby  
Until the day that I die  
She said we'll take care of this little life  
And we'll fall in love with her baby blue eyes  
And we'll be alright from some advice that I know

"Tom!" Harry entered the Owl Emporium and smiled at his special friend. The young man he greeted turned back and smiled at Harry. Harry felt his chest stopped beating for a second. Tom looked good, even with the hideously discolored leather shop uniform stained with animal's secretion and scratching mark.

"How did you find me?" Tom asked as he put down the scrub he had been using to wash the endless snake tanks. The snakes were hissing around him, complaining about every other thing under the sky, but they let Tom cleaned their tanks because they knew Tom. And ever since the owner of the magical pet shop knew about Tom's charm with snake (but nobody knew about Tom's Parselmouth ability), Tom became the most favoured worker in his shop as snake carer specialist.

"I asked Mr. Flourish from the bookshop." Harry blushed, admitting he had been searching for his boy friend (they still have space in between the word boy and friend, much to Harry's dismay. But he knew better than to push it. After all, he didn't want to condemn Tom to sadness of losing him. Harry knew his time was near…). Harry had been looking forward for the day, where he could meet Tom in the Diagon Alley. He missed Tom so much, and since Tom had graduated last year, their meeting chance would be severely limited.

"Oh?" Tom nodded and took off his gloves. He walked towards Harry, but stopped midway. "Sorry, Harry, but I think I stink now. Those tanks were so badly in need of cleaning service. Nobody dared to clean them these days, and they always made me do it. And I don't want you to have another asthma attack."

"You charmer, even snakes love you." Harry smirked. "It's alright, Tom. I don't mind the smell and I feel great today. By the way… I am thinking of maybe adopting a pet. Can you… help me choose?"

Tom raised one of his eyebrows and smirked. "Pet, Harry? Can you take care of it when you can't even take good care of yourself?"

Harry scowled. "I so can take care of myself!"

Tom exaggeratedly sighed, shrugging. "I don't know how you would survive without me this year."

Harry pretended to be insulted and looked away, starting to inspect the animals inside the shop. There were some kneazels, rats, frogs, snakes and owls. Harry was watching the rats in concentration when Tom suddenly stood behind him and whispered in his ear.

"Owl would be good, so you can send letters easier."

Harry felt his cheek became hot, but he nodded. He knew what Tom wanted. Tom wanted him to get the owl so that they could exchange letters more often since they couldn't meet much. It was the practical thing to do.

Tom and Harry ended up spending half an hour choosing between the sizes and colours of the owls there, ending up with a medium sized grey owl with big eyes and flat face, as if it has no nose. Harry felt it was perfect and Tom used his employee discount to help Harry bought it.

"What should we name him?" Harry asked as he scratched the owl's head. The owl nipped Harry's finger, the sassy little thing.

"Well, since it's yours, you should name it." Tom smiled.

"How about we name him  _Tommy_?" Harry smirked.

"No." Tom scowled and retaliated. "Why not  _Harriet_?"

"You dare…?" Harry fumed.

"Hey hey, calm down. How about Lord Voldemort?" Tom smirked. "I saw the name in one of the French book and the meaning is flight from death."

Harry stopped breathing. Flight from death. That was what he wanted, and Tom had said it was what he wanted as well. Harry knew that his condition hasn't been better since last year's sudden drop in his health. His parents were already teary eyed when they saw him and they kept giving him whatever he wanted, as if wanting to spoil Harry as much as they could before Harry's heart stopped beating. James was having similar fear as well, but he became somewhat bipolar. Sometimes Harry's big brother would be overly attached to Harry, and other times James refused to even see Harry's face. It helped that Sirius recently has started to stay in the Potter Manor, so the Black family's White Sheep could distract his brother. It was hard to endure, but Harry knew it was nobody's fault and nobody could do anything.

"It's a nice name, but this owl…" the owl hooted and flew around their head. Harry sighed. "…Tom, she is a girl. Lord Voldemort sounds too masculine."

"Too late. She already responds to the name." Tom smiled. "Well, let me clean myself and I'll treat you Fortescue ice cream. Wait for me here. It won't take more than fifteen minutes!"

Harry smiled and nodded. "Just take your time, Tom. Don't shortcut your bath. You smell so bad."

Tom laughed and he left, turning back just for a second to watch Harry again, making sure the boy was still there. Tom clenched his fist, feeling his chest constricted. "… But you never mind my smell, did you, Harry?"

* * *

_The first thing Tom said was would you like to dance?_  
They moved with each other and when the music got slower  
He said don't let go of my hand  
He said It's only polite if I ask you tonight  
Would it be alright, if I could walk you home?  
That night he told of of his birth  
And said when it hurt  
He thought about what his mother said about tea and toast"

_Well he took those words_  
And he made them proud  
He worked day after day  
And hour after hour  
So that they could buy a little house on the outside of town  
The little girl grew up and so did they  
They said that they loved each other everyday  


They exchanged letter using Lord Voldemort for the first half of the year, and Tom worked his best to get into the medicine department of Eton as well as renting a small apartment by the outside of Hogsmeade so that he could meet Harry every Hogsmeade weekend for the second half of that year.

He managed to get a small apartment, and when Harry came in for the first time, Tom was ready to go on with his plan. He pampered the boy with a simple but delicious lunch, and then he turned on the muggle gramophone, starting some slow muggle song.

"Would you like to dance, Miss Harriet?"

Harry raised his eyebrows and fumed, but Tom just laughed and took the boy into his arms. Harry didn't refuse and they spent the longest time in each other arms, moving with each other and dancing slowly as the music got slower.

Both of them were enjoying it too much, but the music must end. When silent fell into the room, Harry sighed; ready to let go off his hands from Tom's.

"Please don't let go." Suddenly Tom begged, grabbing Harry's hands tighter. "…Would you be my lover?"

Harry blushed prettily and smiled happily.

It was enough answer for Tom, and they spent the afternoon in each other's company, laughing and enjoying the closeness. But the day became night, and it was time for Harry to return to the castle.

"I'll walk you to Hogwarts." Tom took both of their coats and helped Harry put on his. Harry smiled.

"Oh, gentleman, much?"

"Only for my Harriet." Tom smirked and received Harry's punch on his shoulder like a man. They walked side by side, in much slower pace than normal, both refusing to be separated too soon. But none talked, and the atmosphere was too heavy.

"You know," Tom whispered. "I was an unwanted son."

Harry turned to see Tom, but the older man stared to the sky, as if trying to detach himself from whatever he was trying to say. So Harry understood perfectly Tom's need to speak but being detached, so he could only offer a squeeze on their linked hands.

"My mother died giving birth to me. My father never loves her, or me. I was the abnormality, especially with my magic and intelligence. I grew up alone inside the big manor my rich father has, until Dumbledore came and gave me my Hogwarts Letter. I was then disowned."

Silence followed them. Harry slowly brought himself closer to Tom, taking Tom's arm into his embrace. Tom was shaking.

"I used to ask myself why, you see, why he hates me when I killed mother for him."

"It's not..!" Harry retorted, but Tom shook his head.

"And I always wished for a mother. Or a father. Any parent, really. I only have a nursemaid close enough to be my parents, but then after I asked her to be my mother, she stopped working in the manor and left to make her own family. I know it wasn't her fault, it wasn't nobody fault, but I was… well, lonely."

"You've got me now." Harry whispered.

"Yes, thank you so much." Tom smiled. "Because Hogwarts before you was something I never looking forward to. I was a perceived muggleborn in Slytherin. I wasn't popular at all, and until I met a weird girly looking boy in the Hogwart Express three years ago, I believed that I was fated to life a lonely life."

"Hey, I am not girly." Harry weakly laughed, but he grabbed Tom's waist.

"And when things got hard, which was always, I always remember the lullaby my nursemaid sung to me back then."

"Oh, I want to hear that." Harry smiled.

"You forget the magic word." Tom returned the smile and stopped watching the sky. Harry waited as Tom stopped walking and turned to him. Harry tilted his head, and with the cutest voice he could muster, he spoke:

"Please?"

Tom laughed. "I'll write it in our letters and I can sing it for you next Hogsmeade weekend, Harry."

Harry just wanted to agree when suddenly he was hugged tightly by the taller man.

"Please don't let go of me. Please." Tom whispered, and Harry knew Tom was crying. It made Harry's heart hurt too, and suddenly he felt like crying as well.

"I'll never let you go, Tom." Harry answered. "Until the time come, I'll never let you go."

Their first kiss was a bit salty, and was also bittersweet because it was the good bye kiss for the day.

* * *

_And as they're walking down the street_ _  
_ _Her grip loosens on his hand_ _  
_ _He puts his arm around her side as she falls to the ground_ _  
_ _He hears her breathing and thats the only sound_ _  
_ _Her body on the floor attracts a worried crowd_ _  
_ _Tears rolls off his face as he says "don't let go, now"_

Two years went by. Tom and Harry happily continued their relationship, side by side, through the fight and the make up, and somewhere between the second New Year and Easter, they took the next step of their relationship's intimacy. Harry moaned for sore bottom for the whole day, making Tom felt guilty and served the boy as if he was Harry's personal slave. Something of which Harry milked for all its worth.

Tom studied his damn hardest in the medical school, while simultaneously working in Diagon Alley and conducting his own research to mix muggle medical science with Salazar Slytherin's healing notes. Tom proudly told Harry—as the boy sat on the sofa while patting Lord Voldemort—that he managed to formulate one new potion to cure Harry's persistent sickness, and Harry just accepted it without hoping too much. For him, watching Tom got excited while talking about medicine was more interesting.

Yet it was undeniable that Harry might not survive his sixth year. Only for a week after Hogwarts year started, Harry fainted in the middle of exchange classes between Transfigurations and Charm. He was admitted to St Mungo, unable to open his eyes and was delirium. His family was called and they stayed vigil beside his bed. Harry was barely hanging until Tom finally managed to get there. It was then Harry Charlus Potter closed his eyes for eternity.

James felt Sirius' arms around him and was glad that Sirius decided to come with him. Sirius was practically a family member already, for the Black White sheep was disowned by his father and accepted by the Potters instead. Sirius was the only person inside the room managed to not cry too much. James' parents were too devastated. Dorea Potter cried so hard until she fainted. Charlus Potter clenched Harry's cold hand as his tears dripped onto the pale cold skin. James grabbed Sirius' arm and sobbed there.

But no one remember the one handsome pale figure in front of the door, who came a bit too late. Just a bit.

James was reminded of Tom's existence when the older young man suddenly came forward and took Harry's other hand.

" _Don't let go now."_ Tom whispered. "Harry, honey, please open your eyes. Don't go."

James rubbed his eyes, trying to keep his tears off.

"Harry, come on, dear." Tom continued to call Harry with increasing volume. "Harry, don't let go now. I almost perfected the potion. Come, now. Harry? Harriet?"

"Riddle…" James called. Sirius was faster than James, as he grabbed Tom's arm to calm the man down. But Tom refused to move and kept calling Harry's name, until he was borderline shouting.

It was then Charlus Potter spoke out in broken tone. "Let him go, son. Harry is gone."

Tom looked lost, but he stopped calling Harry to come back. It was then the young man's face became paler, and Tom suddenly ran from the room, leaving the Potter and one Sirius Black.

Tom never returned.

* * *

Tom didn't know how he could reach the front door of Godric's Hollow, but he managed to reach there and knock the door. His body felt so heavy. He didn't know why he was still alive. The emptiness was still haunting him, even after all these years. He had finished the potion, and he managed to make a breakthrough in the medical field. He even got the patent and right for the potion and the money has supported his other research. Now he has his own small potion shop, which was very famous for very potent potions. Many people wanted to learn from him, but Tom refused all except one Severus Snape. Only the man was talented enough to match Tom's intellect and silent enough to suit Tom's likings.

The invitation was inevitable. Tom knew that James has wed a girl from Gryffindor named Lily last year, and when they invited him to the wedding, Tom declined. He couldn't meet any of the Potter at that moment, for he didn't want to be reminded of what he has lost. Especially it was a wedding, which Tom knew he wouldn't be able to have with Ha… Tom sighed. He still couldn't say the name properly. Even though it has been four years since the funeral. And today he came because he was invited for the blessing of the new baby of the Potter household.

The door was opened by a beaming James, but he became subdued when he saw who was behind the door. Tom tried to smile.

"Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon. I haven't seen you for quite some time." James smiled sadly. "How are you… oh, please come inside first?"

Tom nodded and followed James, and he was asked to sit on the sofa while James went to the kitchen to bring some refreshment. James returned with a tray of tea, and Tom politely drunk what he was given.

"How are you?" James asked, looking at Tom worriedly. "I… We have yet to see you ever since the… funeral. I was expecting you last year on my wedding, but you didn't come. Are you alright?"

Tom smiled. "Thank you for your concern. I am getting along fine."

"You know, I quite hate you since you took my baby brother's heart ever since his first year." James smiled sadly. "But watching you like this, I can't decide whether I should hate you or pity you. He wouldn't want to see you like this, you know."

Tom looked away. "I am sorry, but I don't have much time. I am here to visit your little baby, can we just continue to that?"

James nodded. "Come, Harry is almost asleep. Lily is putting him to his noon nap."

"Harry?" Tom felt like he was chocked.

"Harry James Potter." James smiled. "I want Harry's legacy to live on."

Tom wanted to shouted, _how could he_ , but then the rage and the pain were subdued when he heard the soft lullaby from the nursery.

" _When the skies are looking bad my dear_  
And your heart has lost all it's hope  
After dawn there will be sunshine  
And all the dust will go  
Skies will clear my darling  
Now it's time for you to let go  
And in the morning, I'll make you up  
With some tea and toast"

Tom closed his eyes. Lily's voice was very different from Harry's soft voice, but the song was the same. It was as if Harry came back to haunt him.

"Oh, Riddle!" Lily was surprised, but she put her baby into the bassinet gently. "How are you?"

"Congratulation for your marriage… and this." Tom used his hand to show what he meant. James sighed sadly and took his wife into his arms. "This is a lovely house and I wish you two a very happy family. One thing, Mrs. Potter…"

"Lily, please call me Lily."

"Where did you know that song?" Tom asked straight to the point. "How?"

"Well…" The red headed lady smiled. "It was one of my oldest lullabies from my old nanny, and she used to sing it to me when I couldn't sleep. I have forgotten about it if not Harry. He sung it last time, and I felt familiar with it. He asked me who my nanny was. When I told him about how my nanny used to be a maid in one of the rich men's manors in the countryside and moved into the city because of her husband's job, Harry then taught me the whole lyrics of the song."

Tom felt his chest beating so hard and painful. His eyes were too watery for his likings, and he buried his face inside his palms to hide the burst of emotion. He shouldn't have accepted James' invitation. But he knew it was Harry's way to tell him that it was time to accept his death.

" _When the skies are looking bad my dear_  
And your heart has lost all it's hope  
After dawn there will be sunshine  
And all the dust will go  
Skies will clear my darling  
Now it's time for you to let go  
And in the morning, I'll make you up  
With some tea and toast"

Now it's the time to let go. Tom laughed, in the midst of his tears. James and Lily didn't know what to do, so they took him to rest on the sofa. Tom shook his head, relishing the contained emotions he had been hiding since Harry's funeral. It was painful, but also he was free that day. He even found out about his nursemaid again.

Everything happened for a reason.

And he needed to carry on with life.

* * *

END

I am conflicted to whether or not I should put the warning of character death. I dont like spoilers. and I guess the song itself has shown the plot anyway, so it should be clear, yes?

Can I have comment for the whole story?

Thanks for reading. Comment Appreciated.

 

**Author's Note:**

> TBC


End file.
